Crap happens. I must regroup
So this is the final installment one hopes in this series.
Dayna came into our bed and took over my side. So I woke feeling tired, and with that sick feeling again. I had lots on my mind so couldn’t muster the lying in bed option. I got up at 6am and put some washing on and went to the loo. I then weighed myself and I have put on weight. Wow that food yesterday was bad. This weight gain did not help my mental state.
I was trying to think of every excuse to not go to the gym as I just can NOT be bothered. I have lost who I am over the last three weeks. My Duathlon training has gone by the wayside and my 500g -1kg healthy weight loss per week has jumped to big figures (according to the gym scales). My eating is up the wazoo, eating bland food and dumb times. I was loosing weight healthily using my points plan and enjoying treats in moderation. I was eating as a member of a family and not having to make two meals. I had just had enough. Not enough to quit completely but just today my mind is saying stuff this.
My brother is here for 3 days from the UK and I haven’t seen him in nearly 3years. I have juggled my gym schedule to work around flights and things. I have also planned our meals and I am eating as part of the family like I used to while he is here. So that should be good for me.
How do I get over the slump I feel I am in so very deeply. Well I wanted to find ME again so decided to run on the street and see how I get on. 2.8kms I can run. YAHOO. I was only doing 1.4km and that was once only. I nearly cried with joy, it was like the moment I expect to feel when I cross that finish line on January 25.
When I got home I sat on the door step and cried just the whole mixed emotions of the past few days just overcame me. The reason I entered this competition was to help me with the training for the Duathlon. Having some one on one training to work on those problem areas and win that trip to Fiji. Well I was grieving as I don’t see Fiji as an option now, that is so upsetting.
Our team is not very teamlike at the moment so that support isn’t really happening. So it is a solo game we are on. I decied I have to do this for me. To do that is to help me adapt my life to a healthy one in every way. I enjoyed doing the old form of exercise and being outside with the fresh air (and drizzly rain as it was today) -physical. I will eat healthy but with the family-emotional. Work to suit me and for me and achieve for me -mental.
After my misery session, I got the weights out that were hiding in the garage and started doing the circuit I was taught by the personal trainer using my own weights. It was great and I felt like I had really achieved a good workout and at home. I have learnt some great techniques that I will continue with to keep toned.
I am just going to do a few things with the family today and hopefully that will help me re coop my mental state. I will be back to the gym tomorrow and working hard, don’t get me wrong I worked hard today.
I still have my noraml weigh in to do tomorrow so hopefully that goes well.
I need to be ready to enter life as it was in three weeks time. So have to take habits and techniques on board that will help me when this challenge is all over. I don’t want it to be just a 6week wonder and a lifetime of learning and developing. My big concern is I have noticed some lovely sculpting happening to my body and that has given me some confidence and pride. How will I keep those changes when I haven’t got the weights machines to help.
I am even keen to get a swiss ball and heavier weights to help for the future.
Ok I am feeling heaps better now. Thanks for lending your ear to the cause.
November 23, 2008 @ 10:50 am
Wow, so much has happened. First off, the way you’re feeling is OK, and it’s normal. You need to accept that there will be days where you feel everything conspires against you. It’s what you do with that feeling that matters.
I think you’ve seen that giving in to food isn’t a wise option. It’s hard of course but one slip up and the writing’s on the wall (scales). I don’t know what to do to overcome this. I’ve had similar problems and the girls have suggested that’s when you need to get out and have a run or something. Take yourself away from the temptation. I realise in the situation you’ve described that wasn’t going to happen, but you could have distanced yourself from the food. Or maybe there was someone there you could have told that you were feeling weak and hoped they gave you the encouragement you needed and strength to turn your back on the food.
I guess for 6 weeks you could do as they say, it’s 6 weeks. There’s an end in sight. I know it’s not easy, I hear the sacrifices you’re making. But you’re 1/2 way there. You can do it!
I’m sorry you didn’t get the support you needed at the weigh in. Maybe others feel more threatened by you therefore they don’t want to help you emotionally. I don’t know.
Take it in your stride. Decide that’s the reason, and realise they have very good reason to see you as a threat. Turn it around from a negative and make it a positive.
I think you’ve done tremendously well and I’m glad to hear that you’re still continuing on.
November 23, 2008 @ 8:24 pm
As Anita says, don’t give up now. You’ve done soooo well. Take on board all the good things you’ve been taught, keep on with the duathlon training and maybe write down a list of all the good things so that when you are feeling blah and disheartened you can go over the list and see how far you’ve come. Keep adding to your list as you reach another achievement. You’ll see it will continue to grow. You HAVE achieved so much. You’ve had to get new clothes, your shape is getting sculpted. I think like Anita too about the group thing – sour grapes!! Despite being part of a group, the group can’t all win the prize so you have to do it for yourself. Can you do it? YES YOU CAN!!!
November 24, 2008 @ 4:11 pm
Just had a quick look at the Breeze page. Was it your team that won this week’s prize? Not sure if I’m doing the calculations from the right information. If so what was it this week – breakfast?